Being a Mother
I don't believe that there is any single word or any string of words that you can put together that can fully entail what it feels like to be a mom. Joy, pride, love, enjoyment, fullness-- there are so many great words that evoke a positive feeling. But there are is also the other end of the spectrum of being a mom-- feelings of not being enough, being invisible, frustration, irritation, disappointment (in yourself-- not your child)… that list can go on and on as well.
I just finished reading a short book that my Mother-in-Law got for me-- The Invisible Woman: A Special Story for Mothers by Nicole Johnson. It really spoke to me! So many times as wives or mothers we feel invisible and we are obviously hurt by that. But this book gave me a new perspective that I want to try to intertwine into my life when I feel invisible or ignored. It states that there were so many people across history that worked on cathedrals or other monstrous, beautiful structures that were never acknowledged for their creations, paintings, or sculptures-- many never got to see their dreams come to fruition. And many even created statues or paintings that were purposely hidden inside of walls because only God needed to be given the glory-- not them. This made me realize that regardless of how I feel on certain days I need to live out like I am doing this for only God's glory and not my own.
But this post is not to pinpoint my less than perfect feelings on motherhood. This post is to highlight the wonderful feelings, the joy that I have hearing the pitter patter of my daughter's feet coming down the hall at 5:45 in the morning, her teeny tiny little voice telling me over and over that she "wuvs me very very much", her looks of adoration while she is lying in my arms on the couch, or her telling me that she wants to snuggle or go for a walk. I love this child more than I can ever describe and it brings tears to my eyes just trying to capture any of the emotion that is set apart strictly for her. She can be an absolute terror at times but my goodness I love everything about her. She is such a genuine child. What you see is what you get. She has no filter and she will tell you when she doesn't like something. She will tell you if you smell bad. She will even alert every person in the bathroom that you are peeing (thanks, Charlotte).
She makes me so happy-- just thinking about her makes me want to leave work and go give her a big hug. She wants to be loved and she gives back just as much love. I hope I am half as worthy of her love as she dishes out because I definitely don't feel adequate at times.
Her love of nature (minus bugs), her appreciation of a pretty sky or flower, her happiness with her little pool that she can't even stretch all the way across, her affection for her kitties and Koopa, her obsession with her cousin Emma, her appreciation for her teacher Mama Liz, her creativeness with forming classes of animals within her toys--- I am 100% amazed with her. She truly sees the world through unadulterated eyes because no one has told her otherwise. She has so much excitement with even the tiniest things and absolute downright not-nice-ness with others. THIS is my daughter and I am so incredibly blessed to be her mommy.
I just finished reading a short book that my Mother-in-Law got for me-- The Invisible Woman: A Special Story for Mothers by Nicole Johnson. It really spoke to me! So many times as wives or mothers we feel invisible and we are obviously hurt by that. But this book gave me a new perspective that I want to try to intertwine into my life when I feel invisible or ignored. It states that there were so many people across history that worked on cathedrals or other monstrous, beautiful structures that were never acknowledged for their creations, paintings, or sculptures-- many never got to see their dreams come to fruition. And many even created statues or paintings that were purposely hidden inside of walls because only God needed to be given the glory-- not them. This made me realize that regardless of how I feel on certain days I need to live out like I am doing this for only God's glory and not my own.
But this post is not to pinpoint my less than perfect feelings on motherhood. This post is to highlight the wonderful feelings, the joy that I have hearing the pitter patter of my daughter's feet coming down the hall at 5:45 in the morning, her teeny tiny little voice telling me over and over that she "wuvs me very very much", her looks of adoration while she is lying in my arms on the couch, or her telling me that she wants to snuggle or go for a walk. I love this child more than I can ever describe and it brings tears to my eyes just trying to capture any of the emotion that is set apart strictly for her. She can be an absolute terror at times but my goodness I love everything about her. She is such a genuine child. What you see is what you get. She has no filter and she will tell you when she doesn't like something. She will tell you if you smell bad. She will even alert every person in the bathroom that you are peeing (thanks, Charlotte).
She makes me so happy-- just thinking about her makes me want to leave work and go give her a big hug. She wants to be loved and she gives back just as much love. I hope I am half as worthy of her love as she dishes out because I definitely don't feel adequate at times.
Her love of nature (minus bugs), her appreciation of a pretty sky or flower, her happiness with her little pool that she can't even stretch all the way across, her affection for her kitties and Koopa, her obsession with her cousin Emma, her appreciation for her teacher Mama Liz, her creativeness with forming classes of animals within her toys--- I am 100% amazed with her. She truly sees the world through unadulterated eyes because no one has told her otherwise. She has so much excitement with even the tiniest things and absolute downright not-nice-ness with others. THIS is my daughter and I am so incredibly blessed to be her mommy.
~Anna
What a sweet and encouraging post!!! Charlotte is so blessed to have a mother who cares so much about her and her well-being. I believe you do an excellent job in the world of motherhood, and it's apparent in your child and these words above. Love you!
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